England 2-3 Croatia: 10 conclusions

We still can’t believe it but it’s all over and all we’ve got left is to wallow in the aftermath – here are our ten conclusions drawn (not a pun) from last night’s defeat against Croatia:

1. Scott Carson? More like Frank Carson!
Is it now tradition for England to gift Croatia a goal courtesy of a comical goalkeeping error in every game?

2. International football – a Bridge too far for Wayne?
We hate to admit it but everyone’s second choice left back looked out of his depth all night

3. Same old Sven
We finished the game with the same midfield that Sven used when we were knocked out of the World Cup and Lampard and Gerrard still can’t play together – just let it go

4. Fool’s Golden Generation
These players have been hailed as the brightest crop of English talent for years but in truth they’re just not good enough

5. 99 and out for Beckham?
Goldenballs made a difference when he replaced SWP but this could still be the end of his international career – leaving him one short of a century

6. All’s fair in love and draw
Who forgot to tell the talented Croats that a game where both sides only need a draw should be played out as an exercise in back scratching?

7. Life’s a pitch
The idea of allowing an army of NFL meatheads to tear up the Wembley turf so close to our most important international game probably wasn’t inspired

8. Crouching Peter
The only thing more predictable than launching a long ball in the direction of Peter Crouch is that he wont jump to receive it

9. Never accept second best
The FA is equally to blame for employing McClaren in the first...or second place – if the whole country knew it wouldn't work, why did they?

10. Lose the earring Slaven
If Slaven Bilic is going to be taken seriously as an international manager of repute he needs to loose the gold hooped earing…or buy a caravan!